Shofar, so good

Today is the celebration of Rosh Hashanah. Not sure what that is? It is a Jewish holiday, where they proclaim God is King. It seems like it is a pretty big deal. So big, that our church preschool was closed today. If you ask the director why we close a Christian school on a Jewish holiday, she will tell you we follow the county school schedule, and they are closed. I can't help but think of how many things the public school system does that we don't want to follow, but that really isn't important.

I looked up what Jewish people do on this day. It is supposed to be a day of no work. Traditionally people eat apples and honey, pray for most of the day, and reflect on how God is the King of our lives. For some reason, we never seem to hear what the day is about. We just hear that the schools are closed and I guess that's good enough for most people.

Another part of the celebration is to blow a Shofar. A shofar is a ram's horn, or some kind of horn that you could blow, but definitely not a car horn. That's different. An animal horn. It should be noted here that the Shofar is a very difficult instrument (if you call it that) to get a sound from. Similar to a conch shell, it requires a great deal of air and a certain formation of the mouth to get a sound.

One sunday some years ago, a random woman came to our church with a Shofar. She wanted to blow it in the service during worship. I told her thanks, but no thanks. She went and found our pastor. I'm not sure how much money she agreed to put in the plate, but I was told she was approved to blow the horn at the end of our service on the last song. Well, the last song was Days of Elijah. A perfect song for the Shofar. There is a line in the song "at the trumpet call". Cue the Shofar!
So we begin the song with the woman standing on the stage to my right. Here comes the chorus. Here comes the line...."at the trumpet call!".....nothing. I figure she is waiting for the finale, so no big deal. Next chorus....nothing. One more time for the chorus and it is a double chorus. I turn to see a woman with cheeks as puffed out as big as if she had 30 marshmallows stuffed in each one. Her face was as purple-red as a beet. Not a puff of sound came from that horn. I had to look away. Last time...nothing. It was like a car wreck. You know it's bad, but something compells you to look. She was going to explode. Just then came the sound. The mighty sound of a Shofar. Or pehaps the sound as if we just let a little bit of air from a big balloon. The song ended. She did not. She continued to blow as hard as she could. Finally the sound of a beached baby whale came forth. I have never before heard a beached baby whale make a sound, but I am certain it would sound exactly like that.
She looked at me and signaled for the band to keep playing. "One more time!" she yelled. "I don't think so" is what I thought as I put my guitar on the stand and thanked her half-heartedly for coming. We never saw her again. If she ever comes back I will refer her as a guest to play for our preschool on Rosh Hashanah.