Lyrics I'd Rather Not Hear

This post could also be called lyrics I would rather not sing.  Its funny how we can sing things we would never say in conversation.  There are too many bad songs simply because of bad words.  Songs should be like well-crafted poems.  One of my favorite writers is Dan Haseltine from Jars of Clay.  I happen to know Dan.  Don't worry, I will pick up any names I drop by the end of the blog.
Dan also has a blog which is well written and contains intelligent, serious thoughts; a contrast to the stuff I write.  I was always a fan of the lyrics in Jars songs because they were deep, complex, thought-provoking, and yet simple. On his blog he explains some of the meanings behind the songs. I like that. This post is not about Dan's songs.
As a worship leader, I try to use songs most people will know.  One of the downfalls of using other people's songs is we are stuck with the lyrics. Well, unless you don't mind changing them. Actual lyrics in a song we are recording for an up-coming CD say "heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss".  Really? Usually a song evokes visual images for me. "No thanks" to that image.  David Crowder changed the lyrics in his version to an "unforeseen kiss".  Ugh.  Not much better really, but we will probably use it instead of that sloppy wet kiss.
Another of my not-so-favorites is any reference to being the bride of Christ. Oh, I get it. The Bible makes reference to the church as the bride, etc. But really? The bride of Christ? I am not singing that I want to be a bride.
I recall one time when a person who was filling in for me sang a song he wrote for his wife before they were married. I asked him if it was his anniversary, to which he gave me a puzzled look. This sunday wasn't about his wife.  Silly me. He told me his song "works" for a church song because you can just substitute Jesus for Jenny. Um, no you can't.  I hope I'm not the only one that finds that a bit weird.
We also have a song that has lyrics about the fragrance of God being intoxicating. One of our pastors always tells me he doesn't like smelling God. Another person told me they were offended by the use of the word intoxicating. As a recovering alcoholic...you get the idea. Seems like it might be a bad choice of words.
I do have another pet peeve when it comes to worship songs. One of God's ten commandments is not to take the Lord's name in vain. In a sub-category of that command I am sure it precludes rhyming the word Jesus with any other word. A song by a popular worship artist proclaims "come have your way among us, we welcome you here Lord Jesus".  I never liked that line and it doesn't even rhyme well. I wouldn't say it's cheesy, but I would say that it has the likeness of cheeses, which I am sure displeases, our savior Lord Jesus.
A big influence in my worship song selection came from a small retreat where I spent a couple of days with Matt Redman. He talked about the importance of what we sing about. He even talked about changing lyrics in his own song. One of his songs says that we are so "in love with" God. Matt offered that the phrase "in love" was not the proper image and that he now sings the song as someone "in awe of" God.
In one song, we have eyes on our heart that need to be opened. If we really had eyes on our hearts, what would they see when they open? Good thing God knew not to put real eyes there.
Robert Webber says songs are like greeting cards. You find the one that says what you want and use it. Greeting cards suffer the same problems as worship songs.  How many new and creative ways can we say happy birthday before we use words that don't make sense in a birthday greeting? Probably about the same number of new and creative ways we can say we love our God.
In support of song writers, it isn't just the writers at fault. We sing about shouting while people are actually mumbling the words. We sing about dancing while we stand in one place.  We sing about raising our hands while they are firmly planted on the chair in front of us or in our pockets. We sing about bowing down while we stand upright.
Maybe church songs really are like greeting cards to God. The problem for me is I usually pick funny cards over serious cards. I don't think people are writing funny worship songs on purpose, but I bet God laughs at some of them.  That shouldn't discourage us from writing.  We should strive to do what is pleasing to God, because then he smiles and says "well done my good and faithful servant".