Nothing New, Part Two

Well now this blog is appropriately titled I would say.  Definitely there is nothing new in a "part two" despite Hollywood's efforts to get us to think it might be.  Part two is merely an extension of the first thing you did, but that isn't the point here.
I go to Starbucks way too often. Not because I love the coffee, but because it is a convenient place to meet people. It's close by, it is free to go there, you can buy a drink, and they have casual seating.  We need a place like that, a kind of daytime club.  A coffee bar.  Let's clear some things up. I'm not talking about "meet people" like a single person would do in a bar, but more like meet people; as in arrange to get together for a meeting.  Sometimes I meet people who don't normally go to Starbucks.  It is a new experience for them. We order drinks like Lattes in sizes that are trendy sounding, unless you are Italian. Apparently anything in our own language is not trendy unless you improperly use the word with a "new" definition.  When I was a kid, good stuff became "bad".  Michael Jackson even wrote a little tune about the new meaning of bad for us.  "Word" means an answer in the affirmative.  We don't actually have any new words. We recycle the current ones and give them meanings that will confuse people who feel as if they have a handle on the English language.
Consider the World Wide Web.  This is the www we put in front of an address to find something electronically.  Finding an address is nothing new. They made maps for that.  Still do. You find things on the web. A web is what a spider makes.  But this web we surf on.  Confused yet? We program web addresses using Hypertext Markup Language.  Hypertext. Sounds like a term from Star Trek.  Learning a foreign language just became trendy.
Who understands all this stuff?  Lucky for us there are internet providers. A provider is such a friendly, helpful term.  There are web hosts. Once again, sounds friendly, helpful, and free. But they are not.
Consider your computer.  You need security. You better have a good firewall.  I bet you didn't know your computer would catch on fire without one.  Or worse. Your computer can catch a virus. That is bad. But if you have a video that goes viral? That is good. Rip music from a CD is fine. Rip off a CD from the store and you go to jail.
Do you have a DVD burner? Do you want to burn CDs? Will it work if I have a firewall installed? How many ports do you have, matey? Dual drives, givin' her all she's got Captain? (2 Star Trek references in one blog!) Not enough memory? My computer is frozen, yet is very warm to the touch.  One stroke (rowing) on the keyboard (typewriter) in the upper left (boxing) for a quick escape (magician or criminal).
I heard a sermon recently where we were given the ancient Greek translation of a simple English word in the Bible. The Greek word was described as having a different meaning than we were familiar with when translated into English. And so it makes sense.  Really, it does.  There are so many new translations of the Bible.  Even the stoic King James translation gets updated every few decades. Why? Because we make new uses for words that already had a perfectly good definition instead of creating a new word altogether. The original meaning of "bad" no longer represents "bad", so we have to make a new translation. The ancient words don't change, our words do.  Same word; part two.  After all, it seems easier to transition a word we are already familiar with into a new meaning. And it can be trendy. Trendy, by the way, is a hip replacement.  Sorry to my readers with lesser English skills, that was a joke.
Nothing new under the sun you say? Lucky for us God is still the same today, tomorrow and yesterday.

Nothing New, Part One

In the book of Ecclesiastes, chapter 1, verse 9, it says "what has been done is what will be and what has been done is what will be done, and there is nothing new under the sun." This Bible verse has been quoted and used with variations in many places. I guess that makes it like a self-fulfilling prophesy. Another familiar version of this is "history repeats itself". So many bands have used this as well like Sublime, Extreme, Coldplay, Meatloaf, Pink Floyd.  I'm sure each of these bands presents their song as new, while singing "there is nothing new".  Ironic. It is interesting how you can look at what is new.  A song can be new...or is it?  With only 13 notes in the western music arsenal, how many ways can we arrange them to form a melody nobody has heard? Check out Axis of Awesome sometime on Youtube. They have a video showing a 4 chord progression that is used by countless songs. The same music, yet different ways to sing around that same music.  It makes all of these songs sound as if they are the same song. Sometimes the bands don't even know they are repeating music already done. They may feel as if they have created something new, until someone compares their song in court to an obscure tune written 30 years ago by Jimmy-Bob's uncle.
If we look around at new stuff, we can find that many times it is not really new, but perhaps improved somehow.  There are the fancy labels of new AND improved, which to me is an oxymoron.  How could anything be improved if it wasn't there before? Improved from what? It is either new OR it is improved, pick one please.
The church tries to do that too often. We think we have created something new. "Let's try this new idea" "Lets use this Bible verse (2000 years old), and combine it with this sermon I heard (2 weeks ago but with a story that was 35 years old), and throw in a video clip (from a movie created 3 years ago) and it is new!
So can we make a case for anything new? Our church has many young families. In the last few weeks we have seen the birth of some new babies. They seem pretty new to me. They weren't here a year ago and I didn't interview the parents, but even just the idea of this person didn't exist before the parents met.  I know God knew, but these people didn't.  If we measure it against the verse mentioned earlier, certainly making babies has been done, so in that regard, a new baby is not something people haven't done before.
Happy New Year, a new car, New York.  Look how many things are labeled new. Open a new browser, write a new blog post, or let's just watch the news on television. We do think of new as better.  Who buys a used projector when you can buy a new one? Challenge the Bible verse above by telling me what you think is new under the sun. I will challenge you to think outside your definition of new and try the Bible's version.  Also keep in mind while there is nothing new for us, God can create new, and we are not God.  Read part two next week on the internet and coffee.  For those of you reading this later, you won't have to wait for next week. You can read it now.

Mergers, Easter Bunnies, and a Spanish church

We are merging with another church. Sort of. A few people are joining our congregation. I don't know if that qualifies as a merger but it sounds like we are moving forward into new things. Church mergers are scary to me if I am being honest. Rarely do two churches think alike enough to become one.
One time we were approached by a Pentecostal Spanish pastor who wanted to use our church. The building of course, not really the people; which most scholars would say is the church, but that really isn't the point.  We agreed to let them have services on Saturday nights. Not really services as in more than one, just one service around 4pm.  They wanted to bring their own sound system. I was in support of that. Too many problems to fight on Sunday morning trying to figure out what settings were changed and not put back. Little did I know that wouldn't be my problem.
I keep a small refrigerator in my office. I use it to keep drinks cold for my band and singers. One year when my daughters were young, someone at church was selling gourmet chocolate bunnies for Easter as a fundraiser for their school.  I am well aware that the selling of bunnies in church could be a whole blog subject in itself, but let's try to move past the fundraiser. I bought three of them, one for each of my girls. As a surprise, I kept them in my refrigerator at work so my daughters wouldn't know, thus the term surprise.
One happy sunday morning, as I opened my refrigerator for a drink I was horrified to see a box had been opened. upon further inspection the ears were missing from one of the bunnies. Are you kidding me? I had to wonder if the Pentecostals thought the bunnies were un-religious (my blog, my right to make up words) and chose to teach me a lesson, or if they were just hungry. Either way, they stole from my daughters. At a church. From a pastor's office.  Obviously our churches were not compatible.  Soon after, unrelated to the bunny incident, we parted ways. An un-merger, if you will.
I sometimes ponder the bunny event.  I think of Psalm 78. In the opening verse it says "Give ear O my people to my teaching"  So I know they ate the bunny during the sermon.  Then it says "incline your ears to the words of my mouth".  A bunnies ears are inclined. They stick straight up and went right into someone's mouth. What does God think about stuff like bunnies and mergers? Check out Paul's letter to the  Ephesians at the end of Chapter 2. There are no strangers or aliens. Good to know, but those History channel programs are still cool. Then something about joining together which grows into a holy temple in God. Great. But I still want my 8 dollars back. And I bet you wonder which of the three daughters got short-changed on Easter with a Walmart bunny instead of the gourmet chocolate? The truth is I really don't remember how it turned out. I suppose that is how God's grace works for me and I guess that's ok.

Man and Woman

There are many stereotypes when it comes to men and women. I love it when people compare a man's brain to a woman's brain.  You always hear the word multi-task associated with women.  Men are made to seem simple. But we are created in God's image and from what I can tell God is pretty good at multi-tasking. Don't use the word image and say it means we look like God because I am pretty sure that doesn't hold true for every human. Made in the image of, like if you are copying a disc image. You can use a different disc, and most people can't tell by looking at the outside what the image is.  Way too many sermons on this point and it wasn't what my blog is about so onward.
I think women like to shop.  Men also like to shop but only if we can make big purchases. It is lots of fun to buy a TV or a car, or something that costs a bunch of money. No fun to buy a pack of gum. Why, you may ask?  Nobody looks at the guy walking out of the store with a pack of gum.  If you are leaving the store with a big screen TV everyone looks. "Wow, I wonder where he will put that?" Suppose you shop at Sam's Club or Costco.  There are only two reasons to shop there. One is the samples. Who doesn't like free food? Don't forget about the opportunity to pretend like you might be interested in what they have on that table or that you will actually buy some after tasting it. Reason two is to buy stuff in quantity.  Not one jar of spaghetti sauce, but a whole case.  And of course everyone looks at the guy who has one of those flat carts filled with stuff. "He must own a restaurant. I wonder which one?"
Today I received email approval from our financial board to buy two new projectors for the church. These things cost a couple thousand dollars each. I can buy them online, but somehow there is no pleasure in that.  I want to talk to a person who will affirm my importance to purchase two expensive electronic things.  After all, this is the epitome of man versus woman.  If I were a caveman I would drag the projectors into the church in the middle of a sunday service and say, "Here! I bring you new projectors!" The crowd roars with excitement, despite the fact we are cavemen and they wouldn't know what a projector was. I guess I wouldn't be able to get one either, but that isn't the point.
The point is I am buying big stuff. I am made in God's image. A little bit of algebra and logic tells me God likes big stuff.  Really big stuff.  The cool part is He can make it. Universe. Big. Done. But since we are all made in the image, how does a woman have the imprint of God?  I guess He likes details and small stuff as well. Too chauvinistic of an approach to men and women? Take it up with God. It's not my fault. And be sure to say "wow" when you see the new projectors in church!

Travel Mercies

I realize that I made no blog post in July. Sorry about that. It is because I left to visit Africa for most of the month. I now have many great posts in the cue, so expect August to be a busy month.  So lets get right to it!
I don't know where the term travel mercies came from, but it is one of my favorite Christian phrases. Let's pray for "travel mercies".  It is so very generic, and yet it sounds like a good idea.  I just returned from a missions trip to Africa.  The plane ride and layover travel time combined is about 36 hours.  I have traveled many times before and I have a few travel peeves to pray for in my "mercies" request.  I will address any potential travel companions who might read this blog post.  First of all, I really don't want to switch my aisle seat for a middle seat.  Speaking of seats, if you are asked to put your seat up to accommodate the meal time, it is not for your comfort. It is for the person behind you who doesn't want your head in their face as they try to eat. So when you finish your meal you may not put the seat back until I am done. Thank you. If you are sitting next to me at the window, when I get up to use the bathroom this is a good time for you to go as well. Sorry about my mean face when I sit back down and then you decide to go. If you are sitting next to me and have long legs, sorry about that, but the boundary for my seat space extends all the way to the floor so get your legs and feet out of my space and back under your seat.  The arm rest is fair game for battle. As soon as you reach for your book or tray table I will put my arm on the arm rest. I won't move it when you pretend to rub accidentally against my arm, but I will try that trick on you.  If you bring a bratwurst sandwich onboard to eat later, pack it in a ziplock bag please.
When the plane arrives we should always applaud, even in the U.S. because it is quite a performance to land this huge piece of metal with 240 people and their stuff safely.  You are not saving any time by standing up to get your stuff early.  We all have to wait to get off the airplane anyway.  I will pretend I don't see you trying to squeeze by me to get off the plane before everyone else waiting.  And I can't hear your repeatedly saying "excuse me".  Now that I have said my part, please leave a comment telling me YOUR travel peeve. I pray for comment mercies.